About

If modern life is complicated, it's probably our own fault.

If you've ever glanced along the dining table to see which fork to use, wondered if Facebook poking is riotous or rude, pondered the finer points of iPodiquette, or phoned a friend to ask what on Earth smart casual means, then 44forks is for you.

The site exists to explore society's silent rules and regulations: updating the etiquette of old whilst unboxing strange new laws from the Digital Age; forever questioning the need for bizarre guidelines; recommending, where appropriate, that you ignore the really silly ones.

Whether you're a Lord or a layabout¹, a Lady or a ladette², you'll find something to amaze or amuse you here. If you couldn't care much for procedure, but simply wish to be thought of as a kind soul who washes occasionally, then stick around anyway. Your friends will thank you.

Take a seat, relax, and subscribe with your feed reader or get free email updates (between 1 and 4 per month).

About the author

Hello. It's lovely to meet you. My name is Nick Cernis. I'm a 26-year-old writer and web developer from the UK.

Born in Belgium, I escaped to Kent to be privately schooled in a curriculum of dead languages and maypole dances³. In 2001 I was banished to West Yorkshire, where I've been hiding ever since: a silent imposter in the ranks of a tribe I will never comprehend.

Etiquette has fascinated me from childhood, and I continue to question the need for it today. People tell me I'm well-mannered and softly-spoken. In truth, I dip biscuits into my tea, curse loudly at crimes against the apostrophe, and rearrange my Gentleman's vegetables away from the inquisitive arc of CCTV cameras.

Correspondence

I have always preferred handwritten notes, but you can email me here: nick@44forks.com

For extra brownie points or to simply brighten my day with the task of deciphering your illegible scrawl, you're very welcome to scan a handwritten letter or postcard and attach it instead. Who said email can't be personal?

References

Occasionally, warmhearted people write overly generous things about me. Let their words serve as a lesson that you should never come within three feet of a keyboard whilst intoxicated.

1. Don't feel guilty. I haven't noticed a difference either. ↩
2. If you don't know what a ladette is, try to resist the urge to head straight to YouTube to find out. This time, ignorance really is bliss. ↩
3. Maypole dancing on Wikipedia. ↩