Email: destroying the art of conversation since 1971

Editor's note: This delightful guest post was penned by the charming Hayley Thomas, and deals with the horrors of workplace email netiquette.

Is it just me, or is emailing someone to have them make you a coffee the height of bad manners?

Thankfully, I don't have to work with or even see the person in question again, but there are many times when email is used, especially in work-related situations, when maybe it isn't the correct tool for the job. You wouldn't use hedge trimmers to cut the lawn, would you? Unless you weren't feeling particularly attached to your limbs.

Most people who work in offices seem to receive more email than they ever thought possible. They receive so much that their job has changed from whatever it was they signed up for, to 'Chief Messenger', where the whole day is eaten up replying to people who will be on the phone if they don't receive an answer within five minutes. (The creators of the Manufactured Emergency, which is a whole different topic!)

But the ones that annoy me the most (except for the obvious ones about enlarging body parts that I wasn't born with), are those sent across the open-plan office floor asking if anyone would like a biscuit, if they would mind turning the radio down, or pretty much anything that fits on to two lines or less and doesn't include a link, phone number, or tricky spelling. Stand up and talk to each other, people!

If you are someone who sends an email to the person sitting next to you to ask them to pass the stapler, please desist. Consider how much email you get; they probably receive just as much, maybe more. Just ask them. With words. From your mouth.

This is only the beginning. If more people in offices spoke to each other, they might find that they have so much more in common than just working in the same beige room with musty carpets.

And if you just cannot comprehend the annoyance of this type of email, consider what would happen if you reversed the idea and emailed someone in another country to fetch you that coffee. You'd have to be open to the suggestion that you were losing touch with reality.

Amy Derby says:

(26 September 2008)

Hayley, I love this post.

I briefly worked in a cubicle in my former life, and in addition to "please pass the stapler" I would also get "Is Lisa's loud radio bothering you?" from the woman behind me and Lisa. It was like the high tech version of passing notes in gradeschool.

These days at the home office, my favorite is when clients email me and say "Call me." That's all. Just "Call me." Um. What? Was speed dial too much for you?

It's any wonder any of us have any sanity left. I'm down to 2% I think.

Brett Legree says:

(27 September 2008)

Hear, hear!

I used to work with someone like that - she'd email me from the next office to ask me a question.

Umm, get your butt out of the chair and come to see me...

Amy Derby says:

(29 September 2008)

Brett -- That was my second favorite; the emails that said "Please see me."

Ian Parker says:

(8 October 2008)

I never thought much about this until reading your post. What does bother me about e-mail is the trend of users to stop using proper punctuation, capitalization, grammar, and generally eschewing all rules of the written word. I prefer to keep my e-mail proper and as close to a written letter or memo as possible.

Of course, I also do not like to send short, useless e-mails. There's nothing more annoying than receiving an e-mail where the sender's signature is longer than the message, and the message alludes to an in-person follow-up. E-mail "signatures" are another pet peeve of mine, but I'll leave that comment for another discussion.

Sal says:

(16 October 2008)

This is so right on. I work in an office with 10 other people. At least once a day I get an email that says there are chips and salsa in the kitchen, or someone brought in a cake or lasagna, or whatever it is. Come on people. I can already hear all of your phone conversations. Just speak!

Al Betz says:

(10 January 2009)

Hayley,

You're so right. As you say, "This is only the beginning. If more people in offices spoke to each other, they might find that they have so much more in common than just working in the same beige room with musty carpets."

IMing is killing our ability to communicate face-to-face. IM is pretty fast communication, but do you know what's faster than Instant Messaging? Constant Messaging™. We do it every second of every day, and it's often done silently. The quality of our Constant Messaging is determined by what we wear, what we say and how we say it, what we read, what we write, what we watch, and with whom we associate. Every time we speak, write a letter or an email, or walk across a room, we are silently communicating. Our silent communication plays a significant role in how we are judged by others ... and it happens constantly ... and it happens instantly. The problem is by limiting our face-to-face communication, we are not able to develop quality Constant Messaging skills. You will notice this lack of skill in job interviews and also in customer service situations, to name two of many instances of inadequate Constant Messaging skills. Imagine how many jobs are lost, promotions are delayed or denied, and relationships are damaged simply because we are not aware of our constant, and silent, messaging and don't know how to use it effectively.

Al Betz
www.outfluenceonline.com